The “Summer Scaries” — Why Kids Can Struggle Without Structure (and How to Support Their Mental Health)

Before I was a parent, I never quite understood the slightly haunted look that came over people with kids when summer came up. You’d ask about plans and get some variation of, “Just trying to keep our heads above water until September.”

Now firmly on the other side, I get it (and owe a heartfelt apology to anyone I once privately thought was being a little dramatic). While my toddler isn’t quite at the “I’m bored” stage yet, I’m already well aware of how quickly things tilt off their axis when a carefully calibrated routine gets disrupted — looking at you, daylight savings — not to mention the fever dream of arranging summer childcare.

Because as much as they might resist it, kids rely on routine. From preschoolers to pre-teens, those daily rhythms are doing a kind of invisible structural work. They offer a sense of containment, of predictability, of a world that holds steady enough to be navigated. When that structure disappears overnight, it can feel less like freedom and more like being adrift in the open ocean.

Luckily, there are plenty of ways to create a sense of rhythm that supports your kid’s mental health and your own sanity. We talked with child psychologist Katie Robinson, Ph.D., to get into what’s actually going on beneath the surface of those summer mood swings, and how to move through the season with a little more ease. Here’s what we learned.

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We often picture the ideal summer as carefree and unstructured, but from a developmental standpoint, why does routine matter so much for kids’ sense of stability and wellbeing?

Developmentally, routine and structure are the foundation for a wide range of important skills and relationships. Findings across the developmental psychology literature indicate that routines are associated with positive outcomes in children, including cognitive development, self-regulation, social-emotional skills, academic skills, and overall mental and physical health. Routine is particularly protective of a child’s wellbeing when they or their family are facing challenges outside their immediate control. They matter because they support healthy functioning, even when things feel more complicated.

Kids need a break for rest and fun between their busy school years. However, that doesn’t mean we completely scrap a day-to-day routine during the summer — we simply need to adjust it. When structure disappears completely, children can lose a sense of safety and stability. From birth, parents and caregivers are building the foundation for a child to understand: “I’m safe here.” From feeding and nap times in infancy to dinner time or regular soccer practice, routine sets expectations not only for what happens next, but for the consistency that helps children feel secure in their world. Without those anchors, we see that kids may experience higher levels of anxiety, mood changes, behavioral challenges, sleep difficulties, and social or relational struggles.

When summer begins, what shifts do you tend to notice first in your practice?

At the start of summer, there’s often a sense of relief! Even a child who loves school and isn’t experiencing major challenges is usually excited for time away from academic expectations and for the promise of fun summer plans.

That said, I often see noticeable shifts in sleep routines and eating habits during this time, which can be particularly impactful for children with neurodevelopmental conditions like ADHD. All children benefit from consistent sleep and nutritious food, so things like late nights playing in the backyard or less structured mealtimes can add up. (This can be especially challenging for families who rely on school breakfast and lunch programs for consistent access to meals, or who depend on school as a form of childcare while parents are working.)

What are some of the signs that a child might be struggling emotionally?

It can be really hard to determine what falls outside a typical range of stress, worry, or emotional ups and downs for a child — especially if you’re parenting for the first time. Even those of us who work in this field have to look closely at context and nuance to sort out what may be understandable given a child’s circumstances, what is likely to resolve without intervention, and what is starting to interfere with their daily life and wellbeing.

Signs vary based on age, but here are a few things to look for:

Some of the more obvious signs of emotional challenges may include: new or escalating power struggles, increased temper tantrums, new difficulties with respect or authority, persistent or escalating worries or fears, more frequent conflicts with friends, sudden emotional reactions that feel out of proportion to the situation, or expressions of wanting to harm themselves or others.

Some of the more subtle signs might be: increased need for reassurance due to fear or worry, changes in appetite (either loss of appetite or significant shifts in eating patterns), self-isolation, reduced interest in activities that usually feel engaging or enjoyable, more time spent “doomscrolling” or disengaged online, a new sense of apathy about interests or the future, disrupted sleep without a clear medical cause, or withdrawal from friendships and social connection.

This list is not exhaustive, and if you have concerns, it’s always appropriate to talk them through with your child’s pediatrician, school counselor, or therapist if they have one.

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Read more: Summer Sleep.

For families juggling real-life constraints like work schedules, finances, or limited access, what are some simple, realistic ways to create a sense of rhythm and support kids’ mental health over the summer?

Keep a family calendar where kids can see it. Even if they can’t read yet, simple visuals, like a sun for a beach trip or balloons for a birthday party, can help them understand what’s coming up. Summer often means that Monday through Friday doesn’t automatically equal structured activities, so helping kids anticipate when a day might be more “low key” versus one with more movement or plans can really support transitions and help them feel grounded. This doesn’t need to be Pinterest-worthy — just clear enough that everyone is on the same page.

Preserve a few consistent routines from the school year. For example, if you’re working during the summer and need to be out the door by 8 a.m., the household can still follow a basic morning rhythm, even if kids are headed to a grandparent’s house or off to camp. The structure of waking up, completing daily hygiene tasks, and eating breakfast is hugely impactful. The same idea applies at night: even if bedtime shifts a bit later, you can still keep familiar wind-down routines like storytime or other end-of-day rituals. It won’t be perfect, but having recognizable patterns makes a big difference.

Engage your community. Not everyone has easy access to family or friends for summer childcare or transportation, so this will look different depending on your situation. But if you do have support, it can make a real difference to bring others into your planning. Maybe neighbor kids attend the same YMCA camp and you can coordinate carpools. Maybe a retired family member enjoys having kids over to bake or play in the backyard. Or maybe a friend can help with camp pickup or a library trip when work runs late. Realistically, we aren’t meant to do all of this alone, and leaning on community support when it’s available can make summer feel much more manageable.

And for parents themselves, especially those carrying the invisible load of decision fatigue, guilt, and disrupted routines, what can help them stay grounded until the kids are back in school?

Lean on your people if you can — “it takes a village” is a cliché for a reason. We also know that routines don’t just benefit kids; they can reduce mental load for parents, lower stress levels, and ease power struggles within the family. The same foundational things that support your kids (sleep, nutritious food, time with people they care about, and enjoyable activities) also support you. So it’s worth trying to build those into your own schedule as well, where possible.

At the same time, we know that a perfect schedule is just a plan, not always the reality of what actually unfolds. Summer has a way of being both structured and unpredictable, and the more flexibility you can allow yourself, the better.

Photo courtesy of Pexels.

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Karin is a Seattle-based writer and editor. She writes on mental health and wellness, travel, and social impact, and edits fiction on the side. When she's not on assignment, you'll find her exploring the Pacific Northwest or planning her next trip.