Wondering what you really need for postpartum recovery? A seasoned postpartum doula, lactation consultant, educator, and author shares her advice on must-have items & support for health-conscious moms.
The third trimester is ON and your due date is fast approaching.
You’ve completed your prenatal labor and delivery classes, have a solid birth and maternity leave plan, a short list of names, and the nursery is well stocked with adorable baby essentials.
Everything seems in order, until a friend or relative starts asking detailed questions about your postpartum support plan, and you realize you’re not as prepared as you thought (and you’re not alone).
Unfortunately, most mothers-to-be and couples are undereducated, underprepared, and under-resourced when it comes to postpartum planning and support. So, what exactly do you need postpartum—beyond a meal train and a bit of help from your mother or mother-in-law?
For help, we tapped seasoned postpartum doula mentor, lactation consultant, speaker, and author of “Nurturing the Family: A Doula’s Guide to Supporting New Parents,” Jacqueline “Jackie” Kelleher. Here, she offers advice and insights on must-have postpartum essentials, why families are unprepared, what a postpartum doula does, and how to start talking about your postpartum needs before the baby arrives.
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Why Are So Many Moms Underprepared for Postpartum?
Every person who gives birth goes through a postpartum recovery period. Some call it “the fourth trimester,” because it’s the first three months after the birth, though individual timeframes may vary.
During this time, bonding or attachment occurs between parent and child, feeding is established, the body heals from labor and delivery, hormones readjust to a new equilibrium, and the parents struggle to find their way in an entirely new (and exhausting) season of life.
Yet, in most hospitals and birthing centers, parents are given very little postpartum support, beyond basic feeding guidelines, follow-ups, and some very limited home care supplies.
When asked why most families are so unprepared, Kelleher shared: “As a society, we live such private, sanitized lives. We don’t live together intergenerationally, so we don’t have much experience. Traditionally, we marinate in life with babies—they’re everywhere. We don’t live that way, so our expectations are formed by unrealistic sources.
“Unfortunately, most of our parenting education is learned through sitcoms or social media, creating unrealistic expectations. And the traditional guidance is not there.”
Although this cultural abnormality is slowly shifting, we have a long way to go as a society to create a higher standard of postpartum care and education for families.
The Most Essential Postpartum Essential Isn’t a Product or Item
According to Kelleher, the single most essential postpartum essential isn’t a freezer full of meals, fancy organic nipple cream, or comfy breastfeeding loungewear; it’s building out your community of support.
“Community, honestly, that’s the biggest thing. Ask yourself: where is your information going to come from? Where’s your support going to come from? I think that’s the number one for moms.”
Kelleher says preparing for this well before the birth is pivotal. “As anyone who’s tried to navigate that knows, it’s exhausting, but try it when you haven’t slept for a month and are struggling to get out of bed!”
In other words, the earlier, the better, and the third trimester is not too late.
Here’s where to start building your postpartum community:
- Look for local mom groups where people get together in person with their babies.
- Find online support communities and groups (ideally those that help you make local connections).
- Identify a perinatal therapist that accepts your insurance and is accepting new patients.
- Get recommendations for a lactation consultant, just in case.
- Decide if you want to hire a postpartum doula, and book them well in advance.
- If family is offering support, schedule their visits and decide what you want and don’t want their help with (this will change, but having a rough idea will help create healthy boundaries and expectations).
- Find a pediatrician you trust.
- Kelleher emphasized you may not find a pediatrician who aligns with all your values. Find one that’s good enough, then fill in the gaps with other support.
- If your budget allows, consider hiring a cleaning service for a few weeks, or ask for this as part of your baby registry.
- If you value integrative medicine approaches, like chiropractic or cranial sacral therapy, line these up ahead of time.
- Ask around for recommendations for a pelvic floor PT just in case.
Building your postpartum community takes some time, research, and effort, but will be well worth it when you need the extra support.
Read more: What Babies (and Parents) Actually Need for Rest
Other Overlooked Postpartum Essentials
Once you have the community piece down, turn your attention to gathering a few new-mom-specific items to help make your postpartum recovery more comfortable.
Kelleher notes that although the postpartum space has become highly commercial, you typically need less than you think.
Must-Have Essentials for Health-Conscious Moms Include:
Sitz baths
These healing bath salts are typically a combination of epsom salts and other mineral-rich salts, with or without healing herbs, designed to help soothe and heal the perineum. You can use them in the tub or in a sitz bath basin set over the toilet. They’re relaxing, soothing, and help speed healing.
Infant/Newborn Baby Carriers
Kelleher highly recommends having at least one newborn-friendly baby carrier, like the Moby Wrap. “A baby carrier is such a big part of mom’s health and recovery as much as the baby’s. When the baby is held close, they can regulate themselves more. This means mom can better regulate herself, too. When the baby is on her, she can do the things she needs to do, so they can both rest when the baby sleeps.
Look for multi-age and stage carriers that work for newborns, infants, and toddlers and are most comfortable for the parent or wearer.
Per Kelleher, it can be helpful to keep more than one type of carrier around to meet everyone’s (mom, dad, baby, caregiver, etc.) needs, and you may want a cooler or warmer option as the seasons change.
Protein-rich, one-handed snacks
“Eat when the baby eats,” says Kelleher, “And that goes for everyone in the family. You have to change your definition of eating for a while and keep your protein levels up. This means cubed cheese, nuts, protein bars, and sandwiches cut into quarters.”
It’s also helpful to stash non-perishable snacks and some extra water where you feed the baby, or where you may get nap-trapped.
A breastfeeding/bottle feeding pillow
These can really save your arms and back, and help get the baby into an ideal position for nursing. Kelleher recommends My Brest Friend, as she’s found other styles can cause more problems than they solve.
A large refillable water bottle
Drinking enough water is non-negotiable postpartum and helps with energy, cognitive snap, breast milk production (for those who are nursing), healing, and overall well-being. Filling a large water bottle at the beginning and middle of the day, makes this easy and helps ensure you’re getting enough fluids.
The best non-toxic water bottles are generally made from glass or high-quality lead-free stainless steel.
How much water do you need postpartum? That depends on the individual, but Kelleher says the general recommendation is to drink to thirst.
Insider postpartum tip: For a budget-friendly glass water bottle, affix a reusable bamboo lid with a straw hole (available at large eComm stores) to a large quart or 64-ounce wide-mouth glass mason jar and pop in a silicone straw.
100% natural nipple cream
“I like zero-added-ingredient nipple creams,” says Kelleher, which is why she recommends 100% one-ingredient lanolin-based nipple creams, like Lansinoh. “Rub it between your fingers to warm it a bit, then it glides right on.”
For a vegan option, look for 100% natural plant-based nipple creams made with minimal ingredients, like Earth Mama Vegan Nipple Butter.
Kelleher also emphasized the necessity of leaving your bra open after breastfeeding & applying nipple cream: “Let the air go in, as this is what will help most with healing and prevent yeast.”
Soft shell nipple cups
Nipple cups can be a life-saver during the early days of breastfeeding.
Simply wear them under your bra between feedings to provide a protective barrier from fabric friction.
Silicone milk collectors
Lots of moms leak milk during or between feedings, or at night as supply is being established.
Silicone milk collectors sit gently on your breast, catching every drop of milk so you can save it for later. “If you’re somebody who’s got a bounty of milk, you can collect some while you’re nursing on the other side (without pumping).”
Kelleher’s favorite is the Haakaa Ladybug Silicone Milk Collector.
Frozen witch hazel pads
These DIY pads are made using your favorite large, non-toxic organic postpartum pads infused with natural witch hazel and aloe vera gel, then frozen in a zipperbag for perineum healing.
Make up a batch in the third trimester to use during those first tender postpartum days and weeks.
A comfortable bed to rest
The old adage, “sleep when the baby sleeps” isn’t just a cute saying, it’s essential for postpartum healing, sanity and good mental- and emotional health.
At Avocado, we offer a wide variety of organic non-toxic mattresses and crib mattresses made using only the safest, third-party verified materials like organic natural latex, wool, and cotton.
Expecting families love our Organic Latex Bed Wedge Pillows, available in 7 and 10 inches and our Adjustable Bases that look like furniture and are perfect for creating extra comfort during those sleepy nighttime feedings and postpartum recovery
If your mattress is due for an upgrade, now is the ideal time. Shop our organic non-toxic mattresses, crib mattresses, organic non-toxic mattress toppers, pillows, blankets, and bedding, or add to your online registry.
What’s It Like To Work With A Postpartum Doula?
A trained postpartum doula can provide a range of support for new parents, especially those lacking help, or the right kind of help, from family or friends.
So, what exactly is it like to have a postpartum doula in your home during those first few weeks?
Kelleher explains, “A postpartum doula is someone who comes alongside the parents, fills in the gaps, and allows the parents to spend their time enjoying their new family and recovering emotionally, physically, while getting to know this tiny new person, and building skills while they’re all being taken care of.”
She uses the acronym NEAR to describe her work, Nurture, Educate, Assess (not clinically), and Refer.
Some of the areas postpartum doulas help with include:
- Ensuring everyone is eating: Food, snacks, and meal prep.
- Sleep support: Making sure you get your naps and answering basic questions about infant sleep or referring.
- Answering questions.
- Referring parents to specialists. A good postpartum doula has a curated list of specialists to recommend for specific support.
- Light cleaning and tidying up, but not whole-house cleaning.
- Household organization: Think stocking your diapering and nursing stations, refilling toilet paper, and changing out hand towels.
- Breast or bottle feeding guidance: Some postpartum doulas are also lactation consultants and can help with basic feeding troubleshooting, or can refer you to a specialist
- Providing emotional support: By listening, holding space, and normalizing all the changes and challenges new and seasoned parents experience.
- Help with sibling integration: Not all-day childcare, but they can generally fill in a bit for parents and help siblings adjust.
Kelleher’s primary goal as a doula and doula-educator is to work herself out of a job.
“Ultimately, our clients should need us less and less. My best doula experiences are when people say,“I think we’ve outgrown you.” it means I helped them to find their confidence and their skills, and a comfort level they can live with.”
How To Start Talking About Your Postpartum Needs Before Giving Birth
The fastest way to flip the script on Western society’s lack of postpartum education and awareness is to talk about it.
If you’ve already had children, you likely know what to talk about and how to plan, but for first-time parents, it can be hard to know where to start.
This inspired Kelleher to create FACE Card decks, conversation card starters for pregnancy and postpartum.
“I took what I do as a doula and expanded it. The prompts help parents learn to trust themselves and feel more connected while preparing for their baby. My goal is for parents to feel competent and confident, which is really the opposite of the marketing they’re receiving.”
The New Parent Edition FACE Cards come with 100 prompts designed to prepare you and your partner, parents, community, etc. for postpartum and life with a baby.
Topics covered include weird things you didn’t know about babies, postpartum bodies, postpartum feelings, baby sleep, time management, behavioral expectations, and other topics that inspire connection, preparedness, and confidence.
And, as you may have guessed, the ideal time to start using them is before the baby is born.
For more information on and from Jackie Kelleher, visit her online at: makeit-grand.com, on Instagram @makeit-grand, or check out her book, Nurturing the Family: A Doula’s Guide to Supporting New Parents available on Amazon and in bookstores.
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