Back to School

Preparing our kids for back-to-school season is about more than just buying new backpacks and art supplies. For many families, the emotional transition is the hardest part! We’re worried our kids will have a tough time separating from us, and we know we’ll miss them, too!

The good news is with a little preparation, you can ease the transition and help your child feel more confident going into the new school year. Here are some practical, evidence-based strategies to reduce back-to-school anxiety and support smoother mornings, calmer evenings, and everything in between!

First, you may be wondering about what causes back-to-school anxiety in young kids? Do all kids experience this?

Photo courtesy of Pexels.

Nervousness or some anxiety about going back to school is completely normal. There are a few common reasons:

Difficulty with separation
Fear of the unknown
Overstimulation and overwhelm from new environments
Changes to routines and sleep

Getting curious about what might cause big feelings can help you respond with more empathy and feel better prepared to support your child. Remember it’s normal for them to want to stay close to their caregivers, and being away for a whole day is a big deal for them!

How can I emotionally prepare my kids for school?

Start by layering in small changes ahead of the first day back. You can try:

Introducing the back-to-school routine early, getting to bed and waking up at the times you’ll use during the school year to help their bodies adjust ahead of time
Using role play to explore their feelings about starting school with dolls, stuffies etc.
Reading books or listening to stories about school
Practicing drop-off routines in a low-stress way, like walking or driving by the school
Practicing mindfulness techniques like deep breathing or visualization

What are calming routines for kids?

Predictable rhythms and routines can support your child’s brain and lower their stress and anxiety. Young children’s brains are wired to seek patterns. When they know what to expect, their brains can shift out of fight-or-flight mode and into a more regulated, receptive state, which is especially important to keep calm during times of change.

Kids on a bunk bed with avocado kids mattress

Photo courtesy of Avocado.

Consider weaving in a few simple, but predictable, routines during this back-to-school season:

A predictable morning flow (wake up, breakfast, dress)
A wind-down routine after school (snack, quiet time, story)
A bedtime ritual that includes a calming activity like listening to a sleepy audio story or a back rub

These moments of consistency throughout the day give kids’ developing brains a chance to rest and regulate, making transitions feel less overwhelming.

Preparing for Separation

To prepare your child for the emotional separation aspect of going back to school, there are lots of things you can do to remind them of your love and connection while apart.

Remind them there’s an “invisible string” (this is a great children’s book!) connecting the two of you
Read stories about separation and going to school
Talk about feelings of missing each other and how you can get through it
Draw a little heart on their wrist, or get matching bracelets to remind them throughout the day of your love
“Charge up” a special lovey with your kisses and hugs that they can have in their backpack
Use visuals like calendars, pictures of teachers, and simple visual schedules to help them understand the school day
Come up with a short and sweet “good bye” ritual for drop-off time, and practice it with confidence and a little silliness!

The first day of school is a huge milestone, and there may be some tears. Keep going with your calming routines, loving connection time when they day is done, and patient, encouraging attitude and your child will be thriving in no time!

Photo courtesy of Avocado.

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Rachael Shepard-Ohta is a Certified Sleep Consultant, Infant-Parent Mental Health Specialist, and mom of 3. Rachael founded Hey, Sleepy Baby in 2020 when she was frustrated with the status quo baby sleep advice. Her platform, courses, and team work with families worldwide to change the narrative surrounding infant sleep while getting the whole family better rest! She lives in San Francisco, CA with her family.