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Using the Pandemic to Change What Motherhood Looks Like for You

May. 8, 2020Quarantine has changed everything — has it changed what you want Mother’s Day to look like for you?



If this were a typical situation, my article for Mother’s Day would be full of brilliant ideas to pamper your mom. It would be about urging her to spoil herself. It would be about making sure she gets some space. You’d see all kinds of amazing gift recommendations from eco-friendly companies.

But this, of course, is not a typical Mother’s Day.

As we grapple with the exponential spread of Covid-19, our world has been turned upside down. No more school. No more playdates. No more visits with grandma. No more school or family trips. For many, no more work. But this new reality is also an opportunity to reimagine long-held truths. For many mothers like me, that includes a chance to decide what motherhood looks like.

When we couldn’t go out and schools were suddenly shut down, I noticed things I didn’t notice before. I realized I was not the involved mother I had envisioned myself to be. As I was able to maintain my work, I felt uniquely blessed and grateful. At the same time, I saw other moms sitting down with their kids to go over lesson plans and resented that I had to rely on my child’s au pair to go over his schoolwork with him.

Maybe, like me, you realized you don’t see your kids enough outside of dinner and morning routines. Or that you don’t have any personal pursuits outside of socializing and work and parenting. And maybe it’s possible that the pace of your former life didn’t match what you actually wanted. Maybe you wanted to slow down, but just never saw your chance to get off the carousel.

You had a vision for your life, and somehow, you fell into something else, and that became your life instead. Now, we get to rewrite a new and better version of normal for ourselves.

For Mother’s Day This Year, You Need Homework

For real.

And some wine.

Put the kids to bed, and stay up with a notebook as you journal it out. Ask your spouse or your friend to take the reins for a while so you can figure some things out. Get clear on what you want. Be specific about what you want your life to look like. Write it down.

We didn’t choose this, none of us did. But some of us didn’t choose the lives we had before either — at least not consciously. 

We fell into it, robotically, automatically, as jobs and life swept us up and away into whatever we needed to do at the time.

But now, there is no need. There is no normal. There is a blank page.

What will you write on it for Mother’s Day?

Photos by Liana Mikah on Unsplash

 

What will motherhood look like for you this year? Tell us how the pandemic has shifted your priorities for you on Facebook or Instagram, and tag us in the post — @AvocadoMattress

Destiny Hagest

By Destiny Hagest

 —  Destiny is a freelance writer with a background in sustainability and natural health. She lives in the mountains of central Montana with her husband and young son. When she's not writing or chasing her toddler, you can find her wandering the quiet wilderness in search of wild herbs and antler sheds.

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